WonderFull Living Newsletter

With all the different levels of violence spiraling out of control in the world, does apologizing make us weak or powerful?… You know, it’s becoming increasing difficult for people to say “I’m sorry”. Many carry the destructive belief that if they apologize to someone, it would somehow render them less powerful – or even worse, it would make the other person ‘right’!… It’s sad to think that due to fear, stubbornness and false pride we let good relationships die. When we feel hurt we become victims, then justify punishing others by remaining angry… It’s even easy to point the finger at ‘those out there’ spreading violence, but do we stop and look in the mirror? Where are we making a difference? You see, hurt people will continue to hurt people, unless someone stops the cycle of violence – and this has to start with ME! Because we can kid ourselves and try to convince others that “I’m not violent” – but there are many levels of violence – if for example, we punish others or beat ourselves up, we are committing violence on some level.

Apologizing is never easy – it takes an enormous amount of courage to have a realization then step up and say “I’m sorry”. It also takes tremendous courage and even tolerance to say sorry because we value a relationship more than our own ego of being ‘right’ – especially if we have allowed a situation to spin out of control because neither side was willing to back down. That’s not to say we must compromise ourselves for the sake of ‘keeping the peace‘ or apologizing ‘out of duty’ or for the behavior of others, as that would disempower all concerned. I’m simply talking about apologizing for the part we may have played in contributing to any uncomfortable situation. Apologizing for our part in it may help to diffuse a heated situation and make room so healing can begin. But we mustn’t get caught up with feeling hurt if others won’t accept our apology – that’s their choice – it simply means to step back and let go.

The reality is that others may not accept our apology but if we have genuinely tried to make things right, then we are clear of any karmic debt because we cannot control what others do. If we try and ‘make others’ accept our apology then on a subtle level, we keep the violence going, while keeping us chained to them in ‘karmic bondage’. If someone wishes to continue the ‘fight’ then we must stay in our self respect and step aside – giving others the opportunity to do the same. This is not a weakness or wrong – this is acceptance, this is patience, this is empowerment!

Question: Have you ever withheld an apology even though you knew you were wrong?

Consideration: Why did you withhold it? What made it so difficult for you to apologize?)

Action: If you are in a situation where you are the apologizer or the one continuing the fight – stop, breathe, step back and become the observer of the situation and ask yourself – what would ……… do? (Think of someone who’s attitude you genuinely value. Not someone because you see them as powerful due to their position or possessions or even someone you fear, but someone who’s behavior is consistently loving, empowering and inspiring)…. Then DO the same!

If you would like to respond to or clarify any of the above contact info@resoulutions4life.com

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Love Annemarie